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"The greatest courage is not in fighting outside battles but in addressing the source of conflict within yourself." – Sadhguru
In the ebb and flow of life, disagreements and arguments emerge as natural as the tides, it is an inevitable component of human interaction and relationships. While these moments of discord can sometimes lead to constructive outcomes, fostering deeper understanding and strengthening bonds, they also have the potential to escalate, leaving emotional and physical tolls. We’ve all been there, but the power lies in mutually solving the argument and addressing the inner conflicts that made the argument rise to the surface in the first place. In this article, we delve into ways to keep calm and recenter yourself during arguments.
The physical toll of arguments is not to be underestimated. When we engage in heated discussions, our bodies respond as though facing a physical threat. The following actions may begin to activate during heated discussions:
This is a state known as the 'fight or flight' response.
While beneficial in genuinely dangerous situations, this physiological state can be harmful when triggered frequently by arguments, leading to chronic stress, anxiety, and a host of physical health issues.
Acknowledging the impact of disagreements on our wellbeing, how can we navigate these turbulent waters with grace and maintain our equilibrium? Here are five effective techniques to stay centered and calm during arguments and hard discussions:
Breathing is a powerful tool for regulating emotional and physiological responses. When you find yourself in the midst of a disagreement, pause and focus on your breath. Engage in deep, slow breathing - inhale for a count of four, hold for a count of four, exhale for a count of four, and hold again for a count of four. This technique, known as "box breathing," helps to reset the nervous system, calming the mind and body. Calming breathing techniques can serve as an anchor, bringing you back to a state of equanimity amidst the storm of emotions. If you are looking to find out more about breathing techniques, read our blog “Inhaling Health with the Power of Breathwork”.
Often, we're so engrossed in the heat of the moment that we lose awareness of our bodily sensations. Staying calm when angry requires a conscious effort to tune into your body. Notice any areas of tension, such as clenched jaws or tight shoulders, and consciously relax them. By maintaining awareness of your physical state, you can prevent the escalation of stress and remain more balanced during disagreements.
One of the keys to staying calm under pressure is to genuinely listen to the other person. This doesn't mean merely waiting for your turn to speak but trying to understand their perspective. Active listening involves acknowledging the other person's feelings and viewpoints without immediate judgment or defense. This approach can defuse tension and pave the way for more constructive dialogue.
Sometimes, the best course of action in a heated argument is to take a step back. This doesn't mean withdrawing from the discussion entirely but rather giving yourself a moment to reassess the situation from a calmer perspective. Ask yourself what's truly important in the grand scheme of things and whether the point of contention is worth the stress and potential damage to the relationship. Taking a brief timeout can provide valuable space for everyone involved to cool down and reconsider their positions.
Amidst an argument, remember that your brain needs ample oxygen to function optimally. Engaging in a few deep breaths of recreational oxygen, like Oxygen Plus, not only has a calming effect but also enhances cognitive function, allowing for clearer thinking and better decision-making. It promotes keeping calm and focusing on breathing for a little bit, which may also calm down the discussion.
While disagreements are an unavoidable aspect of human relationships, they don't have to lead to lasting stress or conflict. By embracing techniques like calming breathing exercises, maintaining physical awareness, listening empathetically, stepping back to reassess, and optimizing oxygen intake, you can navigate even the most challenging discussions with grace. Remember, the goal isn't to avoid disagreements but to engage with them in a way that is aligned with the deeper currents of life, as Sadhguru suggests. In doing so, we can transform potential conflicts into opportunities for growth, understanding, and deeper connection.
